“Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling
something.” – The Princess Bride
This is one of the many lines from The Princess Bride
that I have passively committed to memory along with “Inconceivable!” and
“Anybody want a peanut?”
Pain in a Fallen World
(Genesis 3:16–19; Job 5:7; John 16:33)
Wesley's quote about pain is spoken to Buttercup at a moment
when she is wallowing in her own misery. In all fairness, things were pretty
miserable for her at that moment. The strange thing about pain is that we know
it is coming, and yet we still let it catch us by surprise. We know people are
not perfect but act shocked when they behave imperfectly. We know that everyone
gets sick, but get super dramatic when it is our turn. Perhaps it is just one
way that we deal with the unpleasant realities of living in a fallen world.
Thinking that we may just be the lucky one who will never struggle or suffer.
We will miss the cold this season, dodge the effects of the current recession,
or die painlessly in our sleep.
Hurt Within the Church
(Hebrews 10:24–25; 1 John 1:8–10)
This happens with Christians a
great deal. Over the years the most common reason given for people not coming
to church is because of other people. It could be anything. For one person it
was a mean thing that someone said, or that they heard something they didn't
like from the pulpit. For another person it is that they weren't paid enough
attention, and for another it is that they weren't given enough space. For this
person that they couldn't find a “just right” doctrinal fit. For that person
that they were challenged in their sin and they didn't care for that.
Guarded Hearts
(Proverbs 4:23)
I see these people come into our
church as well, quite frequently. Guard up and ready to fight. They have been
hurt before, and it is not going to happen again. Whatever happened at their
last church they are looking for the church where that terrible thing could
never be repeated. It sounds so obviously stupid when you say it out loud - but
when we are hurting there is no place in our lives for wisdom. They can be
softened to pour out their heart and explain how they were hurt, and ask for
soft commitments - “That would never happen at this church, right?”
The Problem Beneath the Surface
(Jeremiah 17:9; Romans 7:18–23)
The problem goes deeper because
most of our problems are created by our sin nature rather than those of others.
Addicts and co-dependents find each other. Pathological liars find the gullible
and prey upon them. As sure as the Indian Scammer will find the grandmother
willing to give her bank account number over the phone that visitor is going to
find that same type of person who hurt them to do it all again.
The Difficulty of Forgiveness
(Matthew 18:15–22; Ephesians 4:31–32; Romans 12:19)
The conversation doesn't turn ugly
until it turns to forgiveness. Explaining the Biblical importance of
confronting and forgiving is a difficult thing in this world. We don't want to
forgive...we want revenge! In fact, forgiveness sounds scary because if WE
forgive, then GOD might forgive and if HE forgives then that person will never
be punished! When asked to forgive that last church, or if they spoke to the
person who offended them, the answer is usually “no” and you can be sure they
are going to spend a couple more years on that merry-go-round.
The Pain of Ministry
(Acts 20:28–30; Matthew 20:26–28; 1 Peter 5:2–3)
It is no different from pastors.
Almost every pastor I know who has bombed out of ministry or left the church
did so because someone was mean to them. They expected the sheep to be well-behaved,
grateful, and compliant. Instead, they found out that sheep bite, and smell
bad, and almost never listen. They thought they were walking into a position of
respect and found out that there are wolves in sheep's clothing, divisive,
slanderers, and passive-aggressive personal attacks around every corner. In
short, they thought the job would be easy! We say, in effect, “I wanted to
serve you, Lord, but those people made it too hard!” Totally forgetting that
serving THOSE people is exactly the way in which we were appointed to serve the
Lord.
Paul and the Church at Corinth
(Acts 18:1–11; 1 Corinthians 1:10–13; 2 Corinthians 8:1–7)
At this point, Paul provides a
powerful example. The Corinthian Church was founded by Paul. He shared the
gospel with them, showed them miracles, instructed them, wrote to them, prayed
for them, sent friends to visit them and they treated him with mild distain on
the best of days. Corinth was a superficial city - like most cities. Appearance
mattered more than character, and they valued sensation over substance. So,
they were just like people today or at any other age. They were petty,
divisive, and preferred to make factions over remaining united. They were among
the wealthiest of the early churches, and also the cheapest when it came to
sacrificial giving. To say the church in Corinth was a problem would be an
understatement.
“Super-Apostles” and Criticism
(2 Corinthians 10:10–12; 2 Corinthians 11:5, 13; 1
Corinthians 4:17)
The worst of it, however, was how
they treated Paul...they questioned his apostleship and were willing to listen
to any goofball that walked up and claimed “Paul is an apostle, but I am a
SUPER-APOSTLE!” They questioned his gifting, his character, his wisdom, and
whether he was giving them reliable spiritual information. Paul continued to
love them and to contend for their faith. He loved them enough to challenge
these foolish ideas and encourage them to grow in faith. When he couldn't visit
them in person he sent others to check up on them. He included them in ministry
to other saints, and encouaged them to continue to grow in Christ.
The Scars of Faithful Ministry
(2 Corinthians 11:23–28; Galatians 6:17; 2 Timothy 4:16)
By the end of his life, Paul's body
was full of scars. I can only imagine the broken, beheaded frame that was laid
to rest on the day that the Apostle Paul was martyred. Yet I imagine that his
soul was in much the same shape. Each of those betrayals had to leave a mark.
The scars of being questioned, insulted, and slandered - both inside of the
church and outside of the church surely caused him great pain. We know as much
as he despaired at the end of his life that everyone had left him alone in his
imprisonment. One only wonders if Paul would prefer the physical scars to the
emotional. The physical might heal; personal betrayal keeps on hurting. Paul's
persistence with the Corinthians shows us real ministry. Marks, scars, and
betrayals are met with faithfulness, patience, and continuing pursuit in love.
Love Makes the Pain Worth It
(Hebrews 12:2; Romans 5:8)
Wesley speaks those harsh and almost cynical words to
Buttercup “Life is pain.” But the theme of the movie is much more uplifting.
That pain is worth something for love. The Love that Paul bore for the
Corinthian church was made his efforts worth the indignities that he suffered.
More to the point, the suffering of Jesus Christ at the cross was worth it to
Him because of the value He placed upon us there.